Things you'll know soon - what I'd tell a first time mommy.

There are so many things I wish I could put into words. Things that I wish someone had told me. Fears. Hopes. But most of all the love. I want you to know this love, as pure as it is, will hit you like nothing else you've ever experienced. You know you love your children even before you set eyes on them. But it's hard to fathom the extent of that love just yet. I would imagine it's nearly impossible. No matter how much you feel this love, this devotion now, it will magnify the moment they arrive. The affection may be overwhelming. It took me some time to reel in the flood of emotions when Aubree was born. I never expected to love so fiercely. The protective instinct is overwhelming. It takes time to understand and get control of...if it's even possible to understand. You'll always want to protect your children, but those first few hours, days, weeks can be unnerving, confusing and scary. To know you have been entrusted with the care of a tiny baby and want to protect them from the world all while trying to reel in and sort such strong love is a lot all at one time.

I remember disliking driving anywhere because I didn't trust any other drivers. Unless I was really sleep deprived, I had a hard time taking a nap if someone offered to come over so I could rest. It's all so much to take in. I just want you to know feelings stronger than you've ever imagined are on their way. It's okay to feel a flood of conflicting emotions. It's okay to not know what to do with yourself. It's okay to love your children so much it hurts your very soul. I can assure you, these tiny little beings love you just the same. The way they will look at you - such trust and utter devotion - will melt your heart into an unfixable mess. You will learn to mold it back as best as you can and move mountains for them. I tell you this because I wish someone had told me all that I was about to experience.

I was stunned when Aubree came into this world. Of course I adored and wanted her more than words can ever express (just as I do Layne)...but to not expect that rush of emotions was scary.

It's not an easy thing to put into words.  But I wish someone had tried so I knew it was just part of becoming a mommy and I wasn't losing my mind.